Dating

I am not a proposer of “anti-daters”, but I at many times see no point for the label “dating.” It seems that our culture has turned having a boyfriend into an accessory. I easily see many relationships in our culture being rushed into too, as one thinks they need a significant other, when in reality, they do not. They are not fully aware of the commitment they are being put into, and also not fully knowing the other person. I see where this can be labeled as “practice for divorce” as the relationship soon dwindles away over conflict or debacle. We even see this “rushed into, for the moment, and crash” relationship in our media; take for example Kim Kardashian. However, some dating relationships are true. Real relationships are not rushed into, but they naturally happen. Two people’s lives begin to cross paths and their energies begin to vibrate off one another; thus creating a relationship.

I agree with Freitas and King as they go against “anti-daters” as having a fear of mistrust. I think it is valuable to have trust in other people, not just a significant other, but in all relationships, such as friendships. If you had a fear of trust, how are you going to create a relationship with anyone in your life. I think with dating, you really find yourself through your significant other. You begin to prioritize what is important in your life. You really are your true self with your “other”. If you at all feel your self being fake or embarrassed, you are not with a person who should still in your life, at all. I have seen true and fake contemporary boyfriend / girl friend relationships. I have seen the relationship when in doubt the two share a bond a deeper than friendship and fully understand each other on another level. Unfortunately, I have seen this same relationship at an unhealthy level where each person has become dependent on the other at such a young age that they do not know how to survive without each other and are not open to new experiences. I have also seen the relationship behind curtains where one significant cannot act in certain ways, do certain things, or go places without the other’s permission or attempts to hide half of their ego from their significant other.

Hooking up plays a large role in our youth society. It is a part of “going-out”. Many times in colleges, people find themselves going to a party, hanging with friends, and hooking up with a person. What is considered hooking up though? I believe just kissing a person is considered hooking up. I see no harm in kissing. But hook-ups should not end there, that night. If you have hooked up with someone, you have shared a part of yourself with them. Although it many cases it happens that the two involved will not speak to each other after, or accounters will be awkward. Hook-ups should not just happen, but after being somewhat connected, either in conversation, before the hook up – something that leads you to the hook-up, rather than thrown into a room with the person.